Coaching Corner

Show me a persons friends and I will know exactly what sort of person they are. If they hang out with deadbeats, drug addicts or dealers etc. they have no ambition and never will have unless they change their circle of friends.

Conversely, if a person keeps company with successful people of good character, that’s what they will become.

Many people wonder why they never seem to get anywhere in life. One of the big reasons is that they cannot walk away from friends with no future. Take the hoons who frequent the night club strips on weekend nights and bash innocent people. These idiots all end up in serious trouble that lands them in jail, badly injured or even dead. What a future to look forward to. But the strange thing is that these people are so weak minded that they cannot say “no” when their mates want them to go clubbing and drinking with them.

There are those who would like to do better but again they cannot tear themselves away from their mates. What’s really terrible is when we see older men and women whose friends are typically much younger than they are. A man of 35 whose friends are around 20 is going to think like a 20 year old instead of a man of 35. While he persists in that behaviour, he will never mature and will always think like a kid. He will never get a woman of any substance because those his age will see him as immature and unreliable, and the younger ones will see him as too old to be serious with, but they will play on him and get his money out of him. This man will fail to notice that his young male friends are getting girl friends and he isn’t. He will also miss the fact that they are getting married and leaving him anyway.

This sort of person is usually a low achiever who is actually afraid to achieve anything in case he rises above the mental average of his friends. He wants to be one of the gang, even though the gang will never miss him if he goes elsewhere. Instead of him giving leadership to the younger ones, he is being led by the nose by the younger ones and cannot think for himself. It is all around backwards.

This guy needs to learn a lot about self development and then put it into action. It is no good him buying thousands of dollars worth of DVDs and courses only to come home and sit in the lounge thinking it was great but doing exactly nothing about it. He has to get off his butt and DO IT!!!

He has to make it a daily ritual and I don’t mean mumbling affirmations all day. It needs him to get up early, do physical stuff like walking for 40 minutes and EFT tapping with affirmations when he gets home. He needs to eat a healthy fruit breakfast and drink plenty of water, not soft drinks or alcohol. He needs to learn to create anchors and use them every day. He has to learn to work out his core desires and when he has he focuses on the real core desires and does everything necessary to achieve them. Unless he is committed fully to achieving quality goals, in five years he will be exactly where he is today. In 20 years he will be on the human scrapheap

Successful people hang out only with other successful people because they share the same vibes and they give each other ideas for bettering themselves in business, sport, or anything they are committed to. Why would a champion athlete with the world at his feet want to hang out with a bunch of street corner heroes with absolutely no ambition?

Look at people like Tony Robbins and Les Brown. Neither had any great education yet both had a burning ambition to be a success and that’s what was locked firmly in their minds. Neither was born rich. Neither had any privileges that anyone didn’t have. They never had rich friends. They were totally committed and even though failure came knocking, they recovered because they refused to see themselves as victims and they fought on and succeeded. They saw failure as a lesson in a way that didn’t work so they found another way to make things work for them.

In my work I see people from either end of the pole. I have those who come for coaching and are willing to do anything at all to better themselves and they are so committed. When I set them tasks to challenge their resolve they come through. They get steadily stronger and after a while only come to see me once in three months. I see their circle of friends and they are usually very positive people. They are comfortable with each others company

Sometimes, unfortunately, I come across a whole family of losers. I have learned over the years that you draw to yourself for a spouse someone with similar qualities as yours, or in some case the same lack of qualities. In some cases the low quality personalities go to the extended family, so there is little hope of helping anyone, because the others, when they see one starting to rise above the mess they are all in, drag them right back down to their low level. When I look at their circle of friends I see in the main that apart from their negative family they have no friends. I usually also find they have no ethics or values.

The worst part is that they have kids and bring them up exactly the same way. No training in values, no discipline, no teaching of any kind. The kids grow up with no respect for anyone, including the parents, later they hit the streets and some end up in gangs, some on drugs and some in jail for serious crimes.

To my mind the parents need a good flogging and made to accept their responsibilities toward the kids. But that’s politically incorrect so these days we have to recommend counselling and that’s as helpful as a hernia to such born losers. They are comfortable feeling like victims. The politically correct morons would have it that it is far better to let those kids rape and rob than make parents responsible for the proper upbringing of their kids. And what are the politically correct morons like themselves?

I have had discussions with a lot of them over the last ten years and they don’t impress me the least bit. They love power and they associate with power hungry mini bureaucrats like themselves. Their conversations are always about how much power they have and how they use it to cause stress to people.

These are also born losers. They cannot make it on their own so they join the public service or similar organisations that give them a little authority then they go berserk with it. They do not have the guts to get out and try to build a business like the people they attempt to persecute, always quoting rules and laws that they sometimes take it upon themselves to administer when they have no authority or knowledge to do so. They are cowards of the lowest order. I know many of them and I know their networks of friends as well. All of these circles are trying for promotion and when a promotion appears in a gazette these leeches start appealing the promotion, claiming they are more entitled to it. What a slimy way to live. But with low values, what can we expect of them?

It is very interesting to know how a person will act in a given situation, by knowing what their friends are like. If you are considering going into business with someone take your time and make sure you get to meet their friends and get to know them more than as passing acquaintances. It could save you a lot later. A woman I knew well in New Zealand was going to go into a small business with a guy. She asked me to meet him. I was not impressed, just a gut feeling so I asked her to hold off a few weeks. In that time I had the guy checked out and he turned out to be one great con artist. His friends were all shady but so smooth. I let her know this and she was very offended. He was so nice to her at all times and she had met some of his friends and according to her they were all fine people. He ended up owning her house and land that she mortgaged to set up the business.

She was very bitter for about ten years, but then she let it go and decided to move forward. What a lesson.

Another woman was asked to put money into a real estate scheme that was going to pay back a large return on investment over five years. She saw the properties that were to be in the scheme and she liked what she saw. She was going to put in half a million dollars and also borrow another million. Then a gut feeling caused her to get cold feet. She told the other people she wanted to wait a few months. They really pushed her to just sign so they could get it all going. They said that other investors were being delayed by her acting like a nervous little girl. She listened to her gut feeling and pulled right out. Six months later two of the people who were wanting her to go ahead were arrested in the US for a real estate scam in Australia. They had fleeced people of close on $70 million.

Her own circle of friends were wealthy people who lived well but didn’t flaunt it. They were also very ethical people and were pretty sharp when it came to these things. By mixing with these high calibre people she had developed the instincts that protect them from scams. I see her often and she is always friendly to people and she never looks down on anyone because they have less than she does. Now if some of the born losers could use people like her as a role model they would start cultivating good habits that would get them out of the ruts they dug for themselves.

The difference between a rut and a grave is the depth

Some people are losers because they are simply weak minded and have no wish to better their circumstances. They don’t care who else they drag down to their level. They have no consideration for anyone but themselves and they will resort to any low act to get what they want. Are they worth trying to help?

If Les Brown can make a decision to be someone why can’t everyone? All it takes is a split second to make the decision. Then you spend the rest of your life making it happen and reaping the rewards.

Which is better? Sitting at home playing these moronic computer games all day and looking at porn, or having enough cash to do exactly what you want, whenever you want, with whoever you want and knowing you are someone worth being?

Would you rather be a useless loser or someone of substance with complete self confidence and the knowledge that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

Another good example is the guy who set up this site, Mick Popp from Web World Marketing. I have known him for a long time and I have seen Mick weather some bad storms, including going to his brother’s place one morning to find him in a blood soaked bed, dead. A lot of other things happened to Mick that could easily put another man down for the count, but Mick plugged on. He left his native country and married a lovely Japanese woman and lived in Japan with his wife and two young kids for eight years, before returning to Australia in April, 2010.

Mick is an entrepreneur and as such has suffered some disappointments. But does Mick lie down and cry? No way! Never! And even though at times life is hard for him, Mick always has a new plan on the boil and he never looks to the past to find bad times to justify feeling like a victim. He is no victim. He is a winner and he creates winners. He always looks to a bright future and uses the lessons he has learned on the way to set goals and achieve them.

What’s the big difference in these different people and what they do?

Simple. It is what they consistently think about. Whatever you think about most of the time is what you become. Think good quality thoughts and you become a person of quality. Think low thoughts and you become the scum of society. There are several levels in between these and you have the power to choose your level. If you aim at less than the top level you are a loser. Why choose to be a loser? Why choose to be limited?

Some of you have heard of W Mitchell and the heroic efforts he made and is still making after the terrible things that have happened to him. If you haven’t heard of W Mitchell, I suggest you google the name and get his book. If you can read it and remain a loser you are absolutely hopeless and just taking up space.

There are plenty around with the attitudes of Tony Robbins and Les Brown and they are easy to recognise. Emulate them and you can’t fail